Marital Disloyalty – Inflicted Pain
"I'd expect after he met with you he'd make an attempt to change, to be a better husband, but he didn't." The woman, who felt she had conclusive proof of her husband's extramarital affair, had hoped that the mediator would have influenced her husband in some way. "I'm not a judge, I'm not a lawyer; your options are open as you wish," the mediator responded. Initially, the petitioner was aggressive in her demands, wanting to bring her proof to the court. She saw the mediation as a hindrance to her goals and desire to punish her husband. The mediator framed questions so that she would view the situation from the standpoint of her husband of 23 years. Suddenly, her stance began to soften; she realized that neither marriage nor divorce is a one way street. She knew the parties must cooperate to make it work without prolonged conflict. In doing so, she sighed and said "He says finish it as fast as possible ... and I want it mutually settled. Even though I have the proof to show to the court, I want it mutually settled."